Open Adoption

If you would have asked me a year ago if I would be okay with an open adoption I would have told you there was no way.  Things have changed.  We made the decision early on that we didn't want DC to ever feel the emptiness that so many adopted people feel.  It seems that the vast majority of adopted people I have talked to admit to always feeling like something was missing.  It doesn't matter how incredible their adopted family is/was, adopted kids generally always feel a little space of emptiness.  The thought of DC growing up with that makes my heart hurt.  From the research we have done we have come to learn that adopted kids at the very least want to know their story.  They want to know where they came from, who they look like, and why they might be slightly different than the rest of the family.  Some people are happy to just know their story and maybe even see a picture of their birth parents.  Other people end up wanting more, they want to meet or sometimes even get to know their birth families.  We have also come to discover that the only relationships that really need to change are who mom and dad are, all of the other relationships can stay intact and the adopted kid can grow up with a happy and healthy life.  **Disclaimer: Of course this is only true if the birth family is healthy and if is in the best interest of all parties involved, I feel this kind of goes without saying.** 

In our situation with DC we are so blessed to have adopted him from a WONDERFUL family!  His birth mothers family is incredible and we are so blessed to have them in our lives.  (The birth father and his family aren't quite as healthy, we will save that for another day...)  We knew early on that it would be in DC's best interest to know his birth family and to have a relationship with them.  It was important for us to let go of any insecurites we might have had about him being close with his birth family, especially because this was in his best interest.  I also had to ask my family to let go of their insecurites.  We reassured our parents that they are still the grandparents and that they weren't being replaced.  But can I say it's great having grandparents that live so close! When I need a babysitter I call Grandma and Grandpa first and they are always so excited to have him.  I feel comfortable leaving him there because I know they love him and also want what's best for him.  They are happy to see him and to have a relationship with not only him but my husband and I as well.  We are lucky and blessed.

My hope is that DC will feel complete as he grows up, that he won't have the emptiness I fear he could have.  I want him to know there are soooo many people that love and care about him.  We will always be very clear with him who his parents are and I hope that he will grow up to understand every ones important roles in his life and that he will understand his.  And if at any time it seems that he is overwhelmed or if for some reason he can't handle this, then we will reevaluate and make decisions based on what is in his best interest.  But for now, he is one lucky kid because he has three sets of grandparents and lots and lots of family to love him!

He's Not So Sure About Peas

Too Much Information....

I started my period yesterday... Yeah, I said it and I'm owning it. We are beginning into the not so magical world of fertility testing and you can't begin many of the tests until your cycle starts, so hence my announcement.  I have had many of my friends ask how it's going, I decided my blog was the best way to let everyone know how it's going without having to explain it a million times.

Here is our story and I will update it whenever there is something new to tell.  We have been trying to have a baby for close to 2 years now.  I have had a couple very early miscarriages and other than that no pregnancies.  About a year ago we went to our family doctor who gave us orders to get a blood test for me and for my husband to get his swimmers checked.  I am not sure why but it took us a year to actually go in and get tested.  I think we were afraid to hear bad news.  Well, we had maxed out our out of pocket expenses for 2011 so we finally went at the end of December and did the testing we were dreading. 

Anyone who had ever done any sort of testing knows that it is a LONG wait until you hear the results.  Our son DC had an appointment with our doc a few days later, so while my husband was there with our son he asked for the results.  Much to his dismay the doctor (who we won't be seeing anymore) sent her very young CNA in to deliver a referral slip to a fertility specialist and bad news.  Within a week we were sitting in the fertility specialists office discussing our options.  He had looked over our results and said not to worry quite yet, we weren't beyond hope.  Thank heavens. 

We left the office with a plan and that felt great!  We feel so hopeful knowing we have such an experienced confident specialist working with us.  His office staff was so helpful and everyone was so NICE!  They made us feel comfortable and spent all the time with us we needed and answered all of the questions we had. 

Monday I go in for a more extensive blood test and an ultrasound on my ovaries.  Then a few days after that I have to go to the hospital for another test, they tell me it's going to be unpleasant...  Then in 10-14 days we are going to try insemination!  At that time they will also do a more extensive test on my husbands swimmers... Bottom line is by the end of the month we should know what the problem is.  I am trying so hard not to get my hopes up about the insemination, but I just can't help it.  The doc says it usually doesn't work the first time, I'm trying not to forget that.

Meanwhile, I am SO thankful for my sweet baby boy.  He is perfect and we love him so much.  He filled a hole in my heart and everyday he makes life wonderful.  I am thankful things have happened the way they have otherwise we might not have him and that would be unimaginable.  No matter what happens this month with our testing I am going to do my best to just put my trust in The Lord.  So far he has followed through with all of his promises and I need to learn to trust his timetable.  Adoption has blessed our lives in ways we could have never imagined and so if we end up adopting all of our kids then we will be the happiest people on earth.

I'll let you know how the testing on Monday goes....

Rock On

Thank you Uncle Daniel for my new threads (with my name on them!)

Whoever Thought of Daylight Savings Anyway?

Daylight savings has really done a number on DC.  This rookie mom didn't even think about how it would affect him!  Poor kid is trying to go to bed at 6:00 pm every night.  The one thing about DC is that no matter what time he goes to bed he wakes up between 6:30 am and 7:00 am.  So with daylight savings he is starting to fall asleep at 6:00pm and waking up at 5:30 am!! Who do I need to talk to about getting rid of daylight savings??

Gag Fest!

How do you even begin to recover from this?  To make matters worse he was trying to touch his legs. Thankfully his jammies had buttons and didn't have to go over his head.  This was a job that only the bath tub could handle.

Sweet Milk

As previously posted our son had severe colic and the only thing that has helped him is breast milk.  Now seeing that he is adopted breast milk isn't as easy as it seems.  We have a WONDERFUL woman who has been so gracious and kind as to pump not only for her baby but also for mine.  We have been trying to ration the breast milk by feeding him formula about 1/4 of the time.  Well DC decided this weekend that he will NOT be drinking formula anymore.  He gags, he coughs, he acts like we are trying to poison him.  I feel bad because I am sure it was the formula that was giving him all his trouble (ie: reflux, gas, etc...) but, really what are we supposed to do?  I called our milk momma and told her about DC's new attitude on formula, I told her she must make some sweeeeet milk because that is all he wants and he inhales it!  And that great lady said not to worry and that she would increase her supply so that DC wouldn't ever need formula.  I am so thankful for her, I try to tell her but I don't think she knows how much we love her!

DC enjoying his bottle :)

This is our Milk Momma with her own precious preemie.